Lenten Writing Project Reboot 2020! Writers' Reflections in the Wilderness of Lent
Words of Faith
Spirit to Spirit Writing Project
The word Lentcomes from an old English word meaning lengthening of days. In Christianity, it refers to the time before Easter, traditionally observed through repentance and learning. It's a season to be intentional about changing and growing. Some people give up items to create space and time for new life and habits to grow. Instead of giving something up, I invite you to try to commit to answering these writing prompts each of the 40 days of Lent. The discipline it takes to set aside time each day to reflect and write about God and your relationship with spirituality is a journey that you will emerge from with a renewed spirit. Every writer has their own special voice to add to this project, whether poetry, prose, essay, thoughts, lists, or through comments, prayer, and encouragement.
How do I participate? Each day, a writing prompt will be posted. A prompt is a question or statement that is meant to inspire your thoughts in whatever genre you feel moved to write. Post your reflections as a comment under each day's prompt (for further instructions, see 'How To Post' on the right side of the page). It is up to you if you write, read, or pray along with us each of the 40 days of Lent or just drop in from time to time when the spirit moves you to participate. Writing regularly is a discipline that many writers struggle with and this is a way to involve that discipline as a Lenten practice. Through writing and leaving encouraging words for others in this project, we become a supportive spiritual writing community
Friday, February 27, 2015
Goldfish Crackers on the Pews
Lenten Writing Prompt #9
Jesus accepting the children rather than putting
them off was a radical act at the time.
How can we be radical about accepting children at church or in our
society where they are marginalized?
There I was announcing the closing prayer and benediction when a less than two year old girl in a fru fru dress wanders up into the chancel and kneels at the rail. Church pretty much came to a stop, until I picked her up in my arms and we did the prayers and benediction together. She mainly just watched, wide eyed, but didn't cry. As was usual I then walked out to the back of the church followed by the choir. I think when we got down to the aisle we walked hand in hand to the back. After that I always took all the kids out with me during the recessional. It was a very easy way for the kids to feel included in the service. But It was also a wonderful feeling. Doug Millar
I think the next Sunday I took you guys out, but Thomas etc. felt left out. So the Sunday after that I told the congregation that anyone could come out with me. It worked very nicely. Doug
Lovely.. It feels good just hearing if it. .... Part of me also feels the chaos and scrambling to get kids and parents back together and the fear of losing kids .... All reasonable fears... And often love is risky and a bit fearful... Perhaps another interesting prompt idea to ponder... When have you experienced real love that was scary too?
In the past churches have had Sunday School, nursery, crying room, VBS and probably many more things for children to make them and their parents welcome. Most churches I was a part of were overflowing with children, but it seems that things are changing.
Our church struggles with how to attract families with young children. One day in frustration I googled, "Why is church attendance declining." In our denomination I learned the average age is 58 and statistics were from 2 years ago. Sports and the ability to travel more often were listed as 2 things that made it so families were not in church every week. It also listed changing things in our society - young people were less tolerant of fighting within the church. They wanted tolerance of minorities and sexual differences. Also those different than us need to be in our pews because demographics are changing. They did not want to battle with those refusing to change. They wanted churches to use more technology which they use all the time. I understand all of this and agree.
I want to see goldfish crackers in churches but maybe we need to get rid of the pews. Change is hard, but the Gospel is not negotiable. Deb Bengtson-Ahrendt
Sadly Lutherans have often been the church of "No". According to research, the arguing and fussing over the money are very big factors against church growth. In any denomination. Doug Millar
I read an article about attendance decline and the struggle with attracting young families. It said that maybe there were other people besides young families that needed to be attracted instead. All different kinds of people that need to hear good news and have a place where they can remember that they are a child of God. Then, when you have all those different people that needed to find church, then the families might come too. Yes, families are very busy nowadays. Not just because they are overscheduling, but because they are taking care of family, taking care of friends, working on the weekend, going through a divorce, only have the kids every other week, child made a select team which has practice on Sundays...the list goes on. I can see on the horizon that the church is going through and is going to go through a transformation, and I truly believe that what we become on the other side - though a scary unknown- will be beautiful.
I feel like the expectation of kids in church is to behave like they’ve just taken some Holy Spirit Valium. Cozily snuggling in her parent’s lap in that awkward pew or chair, listening with rapt attention to words they yearn to understand, in awe of the candles flickering and the pomp and circumstance of the ceremony. Then, on the other hand, you have real babies and children: • Babies who need milk right at that moment and it’s just easier to nurse them in church and keep listening to the sermon. Even if you know the pastor might accidentally see your boobs. • Kids who eschew (to put it mildly) pomp, circumstance, and sitting still • Kids who need to color and basically ignore the service while they color in order to be comfortable • Preschoolers who insist on re-crossing themselves with baptismal water and get up 3 times during the service to do it • Crying • Fussing • Talking out of turn • Kids who insist on breaking away from their parents on the way up to the Lenten altar to light a candle by themselves and they almost set fire to the wooden container holding all the candles because Mommy couldn’t get through the throng in time to stop her…(I guess you can tell that this actually happened)
Kids are not half-members of the body of Christ. Kids are in it. Jesus welcomed children into his inner circle and invited them to be with him as well as the adults. In a different way, of course. Kids are different than adults. For instance, I don’t know if I want my 8-year-old reading Genesis after about the end of Adam and Eve until she’s at least 13 because there is some crazy inappropriate stuff in there. I don’t want her to have to make the decisions and thinking that leads to confirmation until she is 15. There are reasons for the milestones we’ve set (though in setting them, they need to be constantly reevaluated to make sure they are still appropriate). But kids are not ornaments in the sanctuary. Children are a blessing, but they are a messy, complicated, frustrating, God-given, magnificent blessing. Even to laugh at a child’s naïvely humorous answer to a question during the children’s sermon must be done with awareness that you may be embarrassing that child and their answer. If you look a little further through his eyes, does his answer make sense on a different level? If not, can we give him encouragement for participating? (I know it’s hard not to laugh and some kids really do want to be funny) As a parent, one of the best things about being in charge of faith formation for my kids is that it’s not a one way street. As I teach my children what I believe, they unfold what they believe as well and in so doing , they knock my “formed” faith into a different shape. Children are a blessing, not an ornament. Children talk, cry, poop their pants, spit up, they can’t control their impulses and definitely talk or even dance out of turn. Thanks be to God.
Each generation has the right to reinvent what it receives from their parents. The parents have to be gracious enough to accept it. If a person doesn't like the latter, then children are a threat. Doug Millar
I love the times when kids are the focus of worship, especially baptism days. They remind me of the promises we made for our little person and my own place in God's family. I also enjoy the unexpected moments of laughter that come from innocent hearts and minds. On those days with more children in the pews, I find myself relaxed and open to hearing God.
I would love to see children leading. A lot of young kids are good readers and would do well with a short reading or prayer. Representation matters to everyone, and it's especially important in the family of God.
Just as for us, music that is familiar to kids would encourage and uplift them. I suspect that most of us adults wouldn't mind hearing those songs either.
More family Sundays would be great. It gives us a chance to worship together. And what better way to do it than as one big, I-need-to-go-potty-now, why-is-the-pastor-wearing-a-dress, is-it-over-yet, fidgety church family?
Also, yes to stories! I noticed more than a few wide eyes focused on Pastor Mike as he told us a story today. And when we went home, I was asked, "We need to talk about if it was true, right?"
They get it. We just need to give them the space and a chance for them to see.
We worry about whether our children Will have faith. Teaching children to have faith Has been a significant part Of my life's work. Many people have joined me in that task, Some as professionals But most as volunteers. Some of those volunteers And even some of those professionals Did not have faith as children Some even walked away from church In defiance. Knowing that And knowing those people Didn't stop my work But did give me hope And It reminded me that my call was to love And not to worry
A friend just posted an icon of the theotokos entitled "mother of God, nourisher of life." The image shows the infant Jesus holding Mary's breast as he prepares to suckle. The image was apparently in response to the theology that taught Jesus was purely divine, and not fully human. But it brought forward one of my earliest church memories, that of a woman nursing her child during the service. I was probably only three or four years old at the time, and the picture remains clearly in my head, without the benefit of photos taken. I never understood why, whether it was from unfamiliarity with going to church, this particular church, or seeing a woman nurse her child. But the image was powerful. And it was holy. Perhaps now I can begin to understand why.
From the moment of conception our children bring constant change. A dialogue begins that some chronological adults think strange. Mothers bring themselves into dietary, emotional care, Fathers enter areas of living that before would never dare.
Birther of All laughs with raucous, galaxy splitting joy, Each new one brings opportunity for abundant living to employ. Breath-Maker fills the relationships, expands family universes wide, Little ones, dyads into triads transmogrify, miracles soon abide.
Infant friendly worship forever carries the unexpected. Listening little ears, abiding hearts, catch the moods deflected. Outbursts of glee, diaper filling roars, cooing undercurrents, Bring blessings to the moment, grace descends in torrents.
Smart parents seek out action seats, up front’s where it’s at, Armed with worship kits, snacks as needed, there’s little spat. Preachers bringing a pithy object sermon have learned a trick. Every child, in every body, takes in the gospel, pretty slick!
Parish life finds a boon when children are respected well, No part of the structure should be stuck with boredom fell, Growth marks the experience of a lively mission at its best, Each servant loved at their place in life, a barometer to test.
Post-adolescence always brings out the middle-schooler in us, Hormones do poison, minds, bodies, hearts filling the day with fuss, Spiritual life is not exempt from the obstinate questioning “Why?” Our children teach us diplomacy as needed; wisdom we need not defy.
Our mission goal when lead by children: building healthy adults. Adulthood need not be feared, wise parenting brings fine results. Children, young and old, rejoice in having strong boundaries, well tended; Every aspect of parish life, child friendly without into childishness descended.
Come all you children, Word Made Flesh welcomes your presence, Holy One expects a full spectrum of participation to know grace’s fine essence. There is nothing more delightful than the family of Love fully alive, Each time we gather blessings abound, no need gimmicks to contrive.
From the moment of conception our children bring constant change. A dialogue begins that some chronological adults think strange. Mothers bring themselves into dietary, emotional care, Fathers enter areas of living that before would never dare.
Birther of All laughs with raucous, galaxy splitting joy, Each new one brings opportunity for abundant living to employ. Breath-Maker fills the relationships, expands family universes wide, Little ones, dyads into triads transmogrify, miracles soon abide.
Infant friendly worship forever carries the unexpected. Listening little ears, abiding hearts, catch the moods deflected. Outbursts of glee, diaper filling roars, cooing undercurrents, Bring blessings to the moment, grace descends in torrents.
Smart parents seek out action seats, up front’s where it’s at, Armed with worship kits, snacks as needed, there’s little spat. Preachers bringing a pithy object sermon have learned a trick. Every child, in every body, takes in the gospel, pretty slick!
Parish life finds a boon when children are respected well, No part of the structure should be stuck with boredom fell, Growth marks the experience of a lively mission at its best, Each servant loved at their place in life, a barometer to test.
Post-adolescence always brings out the middle-schooler in us, Hormones do poison, minds, bodies, hearts filling the day with fuss, Spiritual life is not exempt from the obstinate questioning “Why?” Our children teach us diplomacy as needed; wisdom we need not defy.
Our mission goal when lead by children: building healthy adults. Adulthood need not be feared, wise parenting brings fine results. Children, young and old, rejoice in having strong boundaries, well tended; Every aspect of parish life, child friendly without into childishness descended.
Come all you children, Word Made Flesh welcomes your presence, Holy One expects a full spectrum of participation to know grace’s fine essence. There is nothing more delightful than the family of Love fully alive, Each time we gather blessings abound, no need gimmicks to contrive.
There I was announcing the closing prayer and benediction when a less than two year old girl in a fru fru dress wanders up into the chancel and kneels at the rail. Church pretty much came to a stop, until I picked her up in my arms and we did the prayers and benediction together. She mainly just watched, wide eyed, but didn't cry. As was usual I then walked out to the back of the church followed by the choir. I think when we got down to the aisle we walked hand in hand to the back. After that I always took all the kids out with me during the recessional. It was a very easy way for the kids to feel included in the service. But It was also a wonderful feeling. Doug Millar
ReplyDeleteI remember doing this : )
DeleteI think the next Sunday I took you guys out, but Thomas etc. felt left out. So the Sunday after that I told the congregation that anyone could come out with me. It worked very nicely. Doug
DeleteLovely.. It feels good just hearing if it. .... Part of me also feels the chaos and scrambling to get kids and parents back together and the fear of losing kids .... All reasonable fears... And often love is risky and a bit fearful... Perhaps another interesting prompt idea to ponder... When have you experienced real love that was scary too?
DeleteLove this story!
ReplyDeleteDeb Bengtson-Ahrendt
Goldfish Crackers on the Pew
ReplyDeleteIn the past churches have had Sunday School, nursery, crying room, VBS and probably many more things for children to make them and their parents welcome. Most churches I was a part of were overflowing with children, but it seems that things are changing.
Our church struggles with how to attract families with young children. One day in frustration I googled, "Why is church attendance declining." In our denomination I learned the average age is 58 and statistics were from 2 years ago. Sports and the ability to travel more often were listed as 2 things that made it so families were not in church every week. It also listed changing things in our society - young people were less tolerant of fighting within the church. They wanted tolerance of minorities and sexual differences. Also those different than us need to be in our pews because demographics are changing. They did not want to battle with those refusing to change. They wanted churches to use more technology which they use all the time. I understand all of this and agree.
I want to see goldfish crackers in churches but maybe we need to get rid of the pews. Change is hard, but the Gospel is not negotiable. Deb Bengtson-Ahrendt
Sadly Lutherans have often been the church of "No". According to research, the arguing and fussing over the money are very big factors against church growth. In any denomination. Doug Millar
DeleteI read an article about attendance decline and the struggle with attracting young families. It said that maybe there were other people besides young families that needed to be attracted instead. All different kinds of people that need to hear good news and have a place where they can remember that they are a child of God. Then, when you have all those different people that needed to find church, then the families might come too. Yes, families are very busy nowadays. Not just because they are overscheduling, but because they are taking care of family, taking care of friends, working on the weekend, going through a divorce, only have the kids every other week, child made a select team which has practice on Sundays...the list goes on. I can see on the horizon that the church is going through and is going to go through a transformation, and I truly believe that what we become on the other side - though a scary unknown- will be beautiful.
DeleteI feel like the expectation of kids in church is to behave like they’ve just taken some Holy Spirit Valium. Cozily snuggling in her parent’s lap in that awkward pew or chair, listening with rapt attention to words they yearn to understand, in awe of the candles flickering and the pomp and circumstance of the ceremony.
ReplyDeleteThen, on the other hand, you have real babies and children:
• Babies who need milk right at that moment and it’s just easier to nurse them in church and keep listening to the sermon. Even if you know the pastor might accidentally see your boobs.
• Kids who eschew (to put it mildly) pomp, circumstance, and sitting still
• Kids who need to color and basically ignore the service while they color in order to be comfortable
• Preschoolers who insist on re-crossing themselves with baptismal water and get up 3 times during the service to do it
• Crying
• Fussing
• Talking out of turn
• Kids who insist on breaking away from their parents on the way up to the Lenten altar to light a candle by themselves and they almost set fire to the wooden container holding all the candles because Mommy couldn’t get through the throng in time to stop her…(I guess you can tell that this actually happened)
Kids are not half-members of the body of Christ. Kids are in it. Jesus welcomed children into his inner circle and invited them to be with him as well as the adults. In a different way, of course. Kids are different than adults. For instance, I don’t know if I want my 8-year-old reading Genesis after about the end of Adam and Eve until she’s at least 13 because there is some crazy inappropriate stuff in there. I don’t want her to have to make the decisions and thinking that leads to confirmation until she is 15. There are reasons for the milestones we’ve set (though in setting them, they need to be constantly reevaluated to make sure they are still appropriate). But kids are not ornaments in the sanctuary. Children are a blessing, but they are a messy, complicated, frustrating, God-given, magnificent blessing. Even to laugh at a child’s naïvely humorous answer to a question during the children’s sermon must be done with awareness that you may be embarrassing that child and their answer. If you look a little further through his eyes, does his answer make sense on a different level? If not, can we give him encouragement for participating? (I know it’s hard not to laugh and some kids really do want to be funny) As a parent, one of the best things about being in charge of faith formation for my kids is that it’s not a one way street. As I teach my children what I believe, they unfold what they believe as well and in so doing , they knock my “formed” faith into a different shape. Children are a blessing, not an ornament. Children talk, cry, poop their pants, spit up, they can’t control their impulses and definitely talk or even dance out of turn. Thanks be to God.
Amen!
DeleteEach generation has the right to reinvent what it receives from their parents. The parents have to be gracious enough to accept it. If a person doesn't like the latter, then children are a threat. Doug Millar
ReplyDeleteAmen! Awareness is our first step, but where do we go from here? Deb Bengtson-Ahrendt
ReplyDeleteI love the times when kids are the focus of worship, especially baptism days. They remind me of the promises we made for our little person and my own place in God's family. I also enjoy the unexpected moments of laughter that come from innocent hearts and minds. On those days with more children in the pews, I find myself relaxed and open to hearing God.
ReplyDeleteI would love to see children leading. A lot of young kids are good readers and would do well with a short reading or prayer. Representation matters to everyone, and it's especially important in the family of God.
Just as for us, music that is familiar to kids would encourage and uplift them. I suspect that most of us adults wouldn't mind hearing those songs either.
More family Sundays would be great. It gives us a chance to worship together. And what better way to do it than as one big, I-need-to-go-potty-now, why-is-the-pastor-wearing-a-dress, is-it-over-yet, fidgety church family?
Also, yes to stories! I noticed more than a few wide eyes focused on Pastor Mike as he told us a story today. And when we went home, I was asked, "We need to talk about if it was true, right?"
They get it. We just need to give them the space and a chance for them to see.
Words of hope.
DeleteWorrying and Loving
ReplyDeleteWe worry about whether our children
Will have faith.
Teaching children to have faith
Has been a significant part
Of my life's work.
Many people have joined me in that task,
Some as professionals
But most as volunteers.
Some of those volunteers
And even some of those professionals
Did not have faith as children
Some even walked away from church
In defiance.
Knowing that
And knowing those people
Didn't stop my work
But did give me hope
And It reminded me that my call was to love
And not to worry
Thank you for loving my daughter through that process
ReplyDeleteA friend just posted an icon of the theotokos entitled "mother of God, nourisher of life." The image shows the infant Jesus holding Mary's breast as he prepares to suckle. The image was apparently in response to the theology that taught Jesus was purely divine, and not fully human. But it brought forward one of my earliest church memories, that of a woman nursing her child during the service. I was probably only three or four years old at the time, and the picture remains clearly in my head, without the benefit of photos taken. I never understood why, whether it was from unfamiliarity with going to church, this particular church, or seeing a woman nurse her child. But the image was powerful. And it was holy. Perhaps now I can begin to understand why.
ReplyDeleteLent 1, Saturday
ReplyDeleteChildren Lead Us
From the moment of conception our children bring constant change.
A dialogue begins that some chronological adults think strange.
Mothers bring themselves into dietary, emotional care,
Fathers enter areas of living that before would never dare.
Birther of All laughs with raucous, galaxy splitting joy,
Each new one brings opportunity for abundant living to employ.
Breath-Maker fills the relationships, expands family universes wide,
Little ones, dyads into triads transmogrify, miracles soon abide.
Infant friendly worship forever carries the unexpected.
Listening little ears, abiding hearts, catch the moods deflected.
Outbursts of glee, diaper filling roars, cooing undercurrents,
Bring blessings to the moment, grace descends in torrents.
Smart parents seek out action seats, up front’s where it’s at,
Armed with worship kits, snacks as needed, there’s little spat.
Preachers bringing a pithy object sermon have learned a trick.
Every child, in every body, takes in the gospel, pretty slick!
Parish life finds a boon when children are respected well,
No part of the structure should be stuck with boredom fell,
Growth marks the experience of a lively mission at its best,
Each servant loved at their place in life, a barometer to test.
Post-adolescence always brings out the middle-schooler in us,
Hormones do poison, minds, bodies, hearts filling the day with fuss,
Spiritual life is not exempt from the obstinate questioning “Why?”
Our children teach us diplomacy as needed; wisdom we need not defy.
Our mission goal when lead by children: building healthy adults.
Adulthood need not be feared, wise parenting brings fine results.
Children, young and old, rejoice in having strong boundaries, well tended;
Every aspect of parish life, child friendly without into childishness descended.
Come all you children, Word Made Flesh welcomes your presence,
Holy One expects a full spectrum of participation to know grace’s fine essence.
There is nothing more delightful than the family of Love fully alive,
Each time we gather blessings abound, no need gimmicks to contrive.
The Rev. Ronald Allen Melver, M.Div.
1 March 2015
Lent 1, Saturday
ReplyDeleteChildren Lead Us
From the moment of conception our children bring constant change.
A dialogue begins that some chronological adults think strange.
Mothers bring themselves into dietary, emotional care,
Fathers enter areas of living that before would never dare.
Birther of All laughs with raucous, galaxy splitting joy,
Each new one brings opportunity for abundant living to employ.
Breath-Maker fills the relationships, expands family universes wide,
Little ones, dyads into triads transmogrify, miracles soon abide.
Infant friendly worship forever carries the unexpected.
Listening little ears, abiding hearts, catch the moods deflected.
Outbursts of glee, diaper filling roars, cooing undercurrents,
Bring blessings to the moment, grace descends in torrents.
Smart parents seek out action seats, up front’s where it’s at,
Armed with worship kits, snacks as needed, there’s little spat.
Preachers bringing a pithy object sermon have learned a trick.
Every child, in every body, takes in the gospel, pretty slick!
Parish life finds a boon when children are respected well,
No part of the structure should be stuck with boredom fell,
Growth marks the experience of a lively mission at its best,
Each servant loved at their place in life, a barometer to test.
Post-adolescence always brings out the middle-schooler in us,
Hormones do poison, minds, bodies, hearts filling the day with fuss,
Spiritual life is not exempt from the obstinate questioning “Why?”
Our children teach us diplomacy as needed; wisdom we need not defy.
Our mission goal when lead by children: building healthy adults.
Adulthood need not be feared, wise parenting brings fine results.
Children, young and old, rejoice in having strong boundaries, well tended;
Every aspect of parish life, child friendly without into childishness descended.
Come all you children, Word Made Flesh welcomes your presence,
Holy One expects a full spectrum of participation to know grace’s fine essence.
There is nothing more delightful than the family of Love fully alive,
Each time we gather blessings abound, no need gimmicks to contrive.
The Rev. Ronald Allen Melver, M.Div.
1 March 2015